Beyond Goodbye: Understanding Pet Bereavement Through the Human-Animal Bond
This webinar recording delves into pet bereavement through a bond-centred lens, offering a deeper understanding of the many forms of pet loss and grief.
We will explore key grief models, the emotional impact of losing a beloved companion, and meaningful ways to honour and memorialise pets. Additionally, we will discuss the profound human-animal bond and share strategies for compassionate communication with grieving pet carers.
Whether you are a veterinary professional or a devoted pet carer, this session will provide you with valuable insights and practical tools to navigate loss with empathy and support others on their grief journey.
This webinar is presented by our Hospital Counsellor, Katie Gray MNCPS (Acc) RVN.
Thanks For Watching!
We have added some questions and answers that we were not able to do on the night of the webinar.
Q: If people want to visit their deceased pet at the practice after they have been in cold storage, how do you prepare an owner for this?
A: I think it’s best to use your judgement here. Considerations I would have would be: how did this pet pass away, and does that mean that for some people it is advisable to not view their pet (RTA for example). I would also consider the carer, what I know about them and their emotional state. If I felt it was ok for them to view their deceased pet then I would try to ensure they were as peaceful looking as possible, and in a bed/comfortable blanket rather than anything else. I would also ensure that I spoke to the carer before the viewing to see what they expect, and how they are planning on being supported afterwards – encouraging them to not drive, have someone with them or plan to check in on them once they get home over the phone etc if you know they are going to be alone. I would also give them the number for the Blue Cross and encourage them to contact someone if they need to.
Q: Thank you and please highlight the importance of other companion animal family members in the grieving process. I lost my dog 3 weeks ago unexpectedly and we took our cat with us to the vet for the PTS my cat expressed so much grief and even my vet was touched by his actions. I feel it is important to give them the chance to see and understand what is happening.
A: Yes, often our companion pets will show their grief outwardly, but not always. Even if that is not the case it’s important to be mindful that they are grieving and seek veterinary attention if they stop eating or look unwell in other ways.
Q: Would I be able to go to her cremation location and reflect on her life?
A: Many places would encourage you to be able to go to where the ashes are spread if you have chosen a site where this is a service and some will even have the ability to purchase name plates in their memory too.
Q: Is there any additional support we can provide for those who are grieving an assistance dog such as a guide dog?
A: It sounds like you probably already do consider the impact this is having on someone who has a secondary loss of an assistance dog. It’s likely that losing a companion who also aided them in other ways such as sight, is going to be a huge difficulty, and so I would recommend to them that they seek counselling or support via the Blue Cross or cruse bereavement support. It is likely that depending on the charity their dog was from, they will also have people to talk to who understand the loss of a sight dog, so I would probably start there.
Q: I’d really like to become a champion of end-of-life care, I am an RVN, do you know the process of how to achieve this, please?
A: It would be amazing if you could do this – every hospital is different but I would start by speaking to your head nurse about your passion for championing EOL care in practice and ask if you can do some CPD to improve your knowledge around this such as a certificate. Then you could start to change protocols and educate others in the team too. The role of “champion” doesn’t need to be official for you to take it on!
Q: Thank you for this evening, it was really informative. I relate to the comment about people at work not recognising the loss of a pet as important – I think it would be great to have pet loss leave from work- is this something you have come across?
A: Yes I have! It is still very rare but I hear from clients regularly that they are being given some compassionate leave for the loss of their dog or cat. I agree it should be as standard but unfortunately that would have to come from the government and I doubt it will happen. Maybe raising it with your managers or HR departments to see if there can be a shift internally would be a good place to start!
Q: I lost my dog nearly a month ago and feel really lost. I still struggle being the house. How can I overcome this?
A: I’m sorry you are struggling with being at home, it is not an uncommon experience. We often want to rush grief to feel better more quickly, but sadly grief takes time and we have to sit with the uncomfortable and difficult emotions as they come up. Over time it will get easier again, and in the meantime try to be kinder with yourself as this is a process.
Q: Thank you for such an excellent talk.
I need to have an exploratory conversation with my vet about potential euthanasia for my old boy.
Is this something that as a vet you’d prefer to know was coming in advance eg let them know when I book. I have a wonderful vet and we have an excellent relationship so I don’t want to blindside him!
A: Ah, I am sorry that this is something on your mind – but yes – I think that it is never too early to start discussing the end of life of our pet with our vets so that we can plan as much as we would want to. Sometimes even when we plan, it can be unexpected but I think your vet would be happy to speak to you and answer your questions. I would let them know that you want to talk about this when you book the appointment (but make it clear if you just want to discuss it, not book in for the euthanasia itself unless of course, you decide to).